This week, during my run along the beach, I listened to the words of Joseph Nguyen in his book ℹDon't Believe Everything You Think. An exploration of how most people exist within their own thoughts and perceptions of the world. Joseph emphasizes that the meaning we assign to events shapes our understanding and experience, creating a filter through which we interpret life. As a result, we often navigate a perception of reality rather than reality itself. This distinction is crucial in understanding how our thinking—rather than our thoughts—shapes our feelings and experiences.

Perception vs. Reality #

Most people live within their own thoughts and interpretations, which act as filters through which they perceive reality. Reality itself is simply the event that occurs, devoid of any interpretation. For instance, two employees in the same role may experience their job differently: one might find it fulfilling due to a positive outlook, while the other feels overwhelmed because of negative thinking. Similarly, during a social gathering, one person might feel energised and connected, while another feels anxious and isolated—all based on their individual interpretations of the same situation. Understanding this distinction helps individuals recognise that their emotional responses arise not from the events themselves but from how they interpret those events, or how they think in those events.

The Nature of Thoughts and Thinking #

Thoughts are transient mental events, while thinking is the active process of engaging with those thoughts. It's often this thinking that leads to suffering. For example, when a person has a neutral thought about an upcoming presentation, they might begin to overthink and worry about potential pitfalls, which can spiral into anxiety. Conversely, someone else might view the same presentation as a chance for growth without overthinking it, leading to a more positive experience. Recognising that our interpretations are what shape our reality empowers us to see that our emotional responses are based on our thinking. By understanding this, we can shift our experience of life—realising we are just one thought away from a different perspective, and that it’s the thinking about our thoughts where the pain often lies.

Non-attachment to Thinking #

Practicing non-attachment to thinking involves observing thoughts without becoming entangled in them. While thoughts will inevitably arise, we don’t need to engage with or be defined by them. Our natural state is one of joy, love, and peace, much like the calm found in a gentle breeze or a still lake. The less thinking we engage in, the more present and content we become. Conversely, excessive thinking can clutter our minds and hinder our ability to fully experience the moment. By allowing thoughts to flow without judgement, we create space for positive emotions to surface naturally. As Eckhart Tolle reminds us, "Realise deeply that the present moment is all you ever have." This reflects how embracing our thoughts without attachment can lead to greater presence and peace.

Mindfulness and Presence #

Being present is essential for fully experiencing life, yet many people get caught up in their thinking, ruminating on the past or worrying about the future. Establishing a morning routine—like focused breathing or a brief meditation—can set a positive tone for the day and enhance our awareness of the thinking that leads to unnecessary pain. For instance, while walking in nature, we can appreciate the beauty around us without dwelling on the past or worrying about tomorrow. As Thich Nhat Hanh said, "Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor." This awareness reduces stress and allows us to engage more fully with life as it unfolds.

The Source of Goals #

Understanding the origins of our goals is crucial for achieving true fulfillment. Goals can stem from two different sources: desperation or inspiration. Desperation-driven goals often arise from a need for external validation and serve as means to an end. For example, pursuing a job that pays significantly more money may be motivated by the desire to buy a luxury car. However, the underlying question remains: why seek that car? Is it for a feeling of status, freedom, or success? These types of goals are often merely means to an end.

Even when these goals are achieved, they can leave individuals feeling empty, prompting the pursuit of new goals in a cycle of seeking fulfillment that never quite satisfies. This reflects a deeper sense of trying to escape from something rather than a genuine alignment with one's true purpose.

In contrast, inspiration-driven goals resonate with our authentic selves, feeling more like a calling or a higher purpose. These are the pursuits we engage in because we want to, not because we have to. They come from a place of inspiration and offer fulfillment in themselves. However, overthinking can cloud this clarity, leading us back to feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt, which then drive us back to setting goals out of desperation.

Flow State #

We often do our best work when we’re not overthinking—when we enter a state of flow. This non-thinking state fosters creativity and productivity, allowing us to tap into our natural joy and peace. Activities that encourage flow, such as art, sports, or focused work, can help us engage deeply and enjoy the process without the pressure of outcomes. By embracing this state, we can better discern the source of our goals and recognise that our thoughts flow like a river—only blocked by our own thinking. If we can stop overthinking and simply create for the joy of it, we can rediscover what truly fulfills us.

Awareness of Thinking #

Developing awareness of our thinking patterns is essential for finding clarity and peace. "A crowded mind often leaves no space for a peaceful heart" — Eckhart Tolle. Overthinking complicates our emotional landscape, obscuring the clarity that arises from simply observing our thoughts.

By recognising our thoughts as neutral entities, we allow our minds to settle like murky water that becomes clear with time and space. We practice stepping back from our thinking, creating space to be with our thoughts and experience the moment. This approach helps us avoid being defined by an altered perception of reality generated by our thinking, enabling us to truly engage in the present in a state of non-thinking.

Quotes to Reflect On #

  • "If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that would change the world." — Sydney Banks. This quote emphasises the transformative potential of embracing our experiences rather than shying away from them, highlighting how acceptance can lead to profound change.
  • "Anxiety is thought without control; flow is control without thought."— James Clear. This insight underscores the importance of managing our thinking to foster creativity and presence, illustrating the difference between being overwhelmed by thoughts and finding freedom in a state of flow.

These quotes serve as reminders of the power of our mindset and the impact of our relationship with our thoughts. By reflecting on these ideas, we can cultivate a deeper understanding of our experiences and the choices we make in response to them.

Practical Applications #

Joseph Nguyen’s insights in ℹDon't Believe Everything You Think provide valuable guidance for navigating our thoughts and experiences. Here are some practical applications to integrate his teachings into your daily life:

  • Daily Mindfulness: Incorporate brief mindfulness practices into your routine, such as focusing on your breath or observing your surroundings. This cultivates presence and helps you connect with the moment without the distraction of overthinking.
  • Goal Reflection: Regularly assess the source of your goals. Ask yourself whether they stem from inspiration or desperation. This reflection can guide you to realign your pursuits with your authentic self and foster deeper fulfillment.
  • Creative Pursuits: Engage in activities that promote a flow state, allowing yourself to create and explore without the pressure of outcomes. Whether it’s painting, writing, or participating in sports, find joy in the process rather than fixating on results.

Footnotes

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